AM I NORMAL?

The other day I was talking to someone and they made the comment that someone else was a little different. I laughed and said we are all a little different. This conversation made me question myself. Am I normal? Has anyone ever said this about me? I'm sure they have but why?

This past week I went back to work after a wonderful 12 weeks off with my beautiful baby girl. I was terrified about leaving her but my mom was generous enough to take the week off and spoil her. Each day on my way home from work I would call my mom because I thought that maybe if something was wrong it might be easier to hear it over the phone rather than walking in on it. Is this normal? Each morning I stand over Tenley's craddle to make sure she is breathing then I thank the Lord for another day with her and beg to let her live. Is this normal? Yesterday I bought her a 4th of July outfit and when I was checking questioned whether I should buy it because if something happens to her I will remember I bought that outfit for the 4th and the 4th of July will be a little harder knowing that. Is this normal? Today at 3 pm she will outlive Ashton. Is it normal that I almost figured it out to the second?

Grief is a crazy thing. When someone goes through grief their life changes forever. There is no timeline there is no 12 step plan. You will have to live with it forever, it will never go away. Sounds exhausting doesn't it. Well I can reassure you yes it is exhausting but some days not so much and so days a whole lot. There are days when I think about January 11th, 2010 I get physically ill just like that day. I actually feel like I'm reliving that day all over again. Is this normal?

I can tell you right now I'm not normal. So if you want to tell someone else that I'm a little different thats ok because I am. But I kind of like me that way I am. Just think about it. We all start out like a big clump of clay then as we start growing the Lord starts shaping us into a fine piece of pottery. Each day we change a little more into a masterpiece. Some things shape you a little more than others but in the end you are a true piece of art.